Desert Days

Life can be found anywhere...even in the desert

Even in the desert, life blooms


Hosea 13:5 "I cared for you in the wilderness, in the land of drought."

Man life gets hard sometimes.

Just when you think things are rolling along…BAM!  Out of the blue comes another “unexpected” that knocks you back. Someone lets you down. You get some bad news. That budget you tried so hard to stick to is out of the water because of an unexpected expense.

This is my life right now. Every time I turn around it is something. I tell you the truth…it is wearisome. As though life was not complicated enough with school, work, home, kids, money etc, I throw in the expectations I have of myself, and well…I am pretty much just done in. It is a good thing that God doesn’t see me the same way I see myself.

In the midst of the chaos, I am thankful. I will practice what I “preach” and count the things in my life that are praiseworthy…they are too many to list. But the pain is sitting right on the surface nonetheless.

I am just being real here. This is not going to be merely an inspirational blog full of wide eyed wonder and mystery about the greatness of life. It is going to be real. It is going to be messy, and often times ugly. Because that is what an authentic journey with Jesus looks like. I spend a lot of time sitting in the mud when I have gotten knocked down. It is hard to get back up. After you have been knocked down more times than you can count, it gets even harder with each subsequent punch. But I will continue to get back up. Because I know that God sees my end from this beginning. Because I KNOW that He loves me far to much to leave me here. Because even though most things I see right now are a deep shade of grey, the beauty of His color will begin to flood my life at the right moment, as I continue to surrender my will and my life to Him.

And so I have. I surrender every talent, every motive, every thought and action to His authority. I ask Him to come in and have absolute sway in my life. I plead with Him to take the wheel, so to speak. I don’t even want to be the co-pilot. I just want to sit in the back and move when He tells me to.

I am waiting…I am waiting…I am waiting. I don’t yet see any dreams, desires, or ambitions. Right now, my main goals are getting up each morning, showering, going to work and doing the best that I can, and coming home each evening to be a multi-tasking mother/wife/student. I don’t feel like I am excelling at anything right now, but I am trying.

Throw into all of this chaos the desire to walk forward into the ministry that God has called me to…and just call me overwhelmed. But I am trusting, I am hoping, I am believing that the steps I am taking are leading me in the right path, and if for some reason they are not, that He will gently guide me towards the path I need to take. I feel at home here. I feel at home behind a keyboard, expressing the thoughts that come to my mind and heart. I feel at home sharing the truths and extraordinary things that God shows to me as I seek Him. I feel at home behind a pulpit, teaching others about the wondrous things that God is opening up to me. I pray that they are reaching people. That your lives are being changed along with mine. Because this is a journey…a team effort if you will. We must hold one another up, and hold one another accountable.

May God bless you through your “desert days”. May He provide you with momentary times in pools of refreshing to your soul, and see you through each hot, dry day. And may you hold tight to the promise that He truly is leading us to a land that flows with milk and honey, even if we do not see it this side of heaven. We will choose to serve and to love Him nonetheless. Because just being found in Him is its own greatest reward, and I can be content in that.

Blessings ~~